BDSM Basics

The following section explains basic terms and rules widely used in BDSM.

What BDSM means?

BDSM is a word composed from the following abbreviations: B&D (Bondage & Discipline), D/s (Dominance & submission) and S&M (Sadism & Masochism). It means, that it can cover a play, where heavy pain is inflicted or tight bondage is applied or where one person drive another. There is one sign common for all three: there is at least one person, who lead the scene (called top, Dom,Domme, Dominant, Sir, Master or Mistress ), and at least one person, who is controlled (called bottom, sub, submissive or slave ).

Bondage & Discipline – Physical control & enabling the bottom through bondage , humiliation and corporal punishment are used to control the behavior of the bottom. The top forces the bottom through applying different forms of dominating, physical control & behavioral correction techniques to achieve certain goals through the given rules. If these are broken, then punishment takes a place. Punishment can be in many forms, mental or physical. Role playing such as parents/children, teacher/student can also be used.

Dominance & submission - This is the basic process of power exchange as the top dominates the bottom. BD & SM are many times used in part as a tool to achieve D/s.

Sadism & Masochism - pain is involved. The masochist directly or inadvertently likes to receive pain, the sadist likes to directly or inadvertently inflict pain.

BDSM can be a lifestyle, it can be a favorite game regularly played with a partner, or it can be something what would be never understand by some. Most people in the BDSM community say, that erotic power exchange is one of the most sensual things you can experience. I can't say, if it is true for everybody, but it is surely for me.

 

The code of SSC:

SSC - stands for Safe, Sane, & Consentual. The wide spread concept that ALL responsible BDSM interactions & relationships MUST be Safe, Sane & Consentual:

Safe - The risks are reasonably estimated, and have been reduced as far as is consistent with achieving the effect sought by all parties involved.

Sane - Each participant is sufficiently aware, & understands the consequences (and potential consequences) of his/her decisions.

Consentual - What happens is what all participants freely agreed to, and is done pursuant to the wants of all the participants.

 

RACK (Risk Aware Consentual Kink):

A newer term, Many people in the BDSM community have been adopting the “RACK” concept over SSC because they feel it is a more realistic guideline. The argument for this is, “Not everything we do in BDSM is totally SAFE, only different levels of RISK.”& “The concept of SANE is a relative term.”

 

Some other very basic BDSM terms are:

Play - engaging in BDSM activities and interaction.

Vanilla - person who does not desire or participate in BDSM play, or activity not associated with or not involving BDSM play

Scene - period of time during which BDSM play is occurring, often has a clear beginning and end.

The Scene - refers to the BDSM/leather community.

24/7 - a D/s couple that are "in scene" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Limit - used for "boundaries"

Boundaries - edge of one's ability to handle sensation or other stimuli, physically or psychologically. Often refers to intensity of stimuli or of reaction to stimuli. Boundaries are often "push-able", as in "pushing the envelope" in corporate speak.

Button - a certain word, situation or action that causes an unexpectedly strong emotional or psychological reaction.

Safe Words - A safe word is a code-word which is predetermined by those involved in a particular BDSM interaction with can be used as a safety-net to let the other person/s know to STOP a scene ( or play ) when something has gone wrong, someone feels uncomfortable with something or some ones limits have been reached. It can also be used as an alert, slow down or other purposes. This Safety technique can be especially important when new partners/play mates play or enter a scene, as they don’t fully understand each others boundaries as a long standing relationship would.

Protocol – The general rules or guidelines of an individual or play space. There is basic protocol that all play spaces fallow but each space likely has there own variation. An individuals protocol ( or personal guidelines ) can vary tremendously.

A Play Space, Dungeon or Club House – A space available to individuals in the BDSM community which is used for play & socializing by its members. There is usually some main aria/s for people to have scenes with BDSM furniture, suspension arias & what ever other dirty fantasies you can come up with & then there is a social/lounge aria to relax & socialize. Play Spaces are usually membership based or private clubs. Proper play spaces are clean, some there is no sex & a very Safe, Sane, & regulated environment. If you go to a play space that does not seem this way, my advice is to turn around & walk out. There are private dungeons/play spaces that are owned for the personal use of its owner/s. The protocol of these spaces could be literally anything decided upon by its owner/s. Find out the protocol of a private space BEFORE you find your self chained to the wall there.

Pro Dungeon – A Pro Dungeon (Professional Dungeon) is a private Dungeon which is shared by a group of Professional Dominants to hold Professional sessions with their clients or financial slaves. These Dungeons are not membership based; rather sessions are booked by appointments with its inhabited Pro Mistresses or Masters (mostly Mistresses, as there are very few Pro Masters) which receive hourly financial tribute from their clients/slaves per session. My sessions are held in a Pro Dungeon.